just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
