i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
