Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
