Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
