fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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