this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Randomize
