No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
