so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
