Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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