You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
