I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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