Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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