Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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