If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
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