we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
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