I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
