Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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