if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
