its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
