question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
