I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Randomize
