I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
