It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
