Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Porn is love you can see.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Randomize
