Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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