he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
