Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Can you bring me the toilet please
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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