You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
