I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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