Your mouth is God's brothel.
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
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