How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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