i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Randomize
