You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
