I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
lol hangovers are for mortals.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Randomize
