If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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