I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
