K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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