there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
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