I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Randomize
