my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Randomize
