apparently the secret to your success is patron
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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