Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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