i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
