you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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