we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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