Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.�
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
