I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
