The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I would fuck him just for his dog
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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