i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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