I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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