The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
no more duck duck goose at the bar
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
