I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Randomize
