So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Found the puke drawer
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
